Ever tried to change someone’s mind? It’s exhausting.
You lay out the facts, craft a compelling argument, maybe even throw in some emotional appeal—and still, they don’t budge. It’s like trying to push a boulder uphill with a stick.
Creators, entrepreneurs, and marketers fall into this trap all the time. They pour energy into convincing people—convincing them to care, to try, to buy.
But here’s the truth: People don’t buy because they’re convinced. They buy because they see themselves in what you’re offering.
They buy because it aligns with their identity. With their story. With the unspoken rule of “People like me do things like this.”
Once you understand that, a path to growth becomes a whole lot clearer.
Identity, Not Persuasion, Drives Behavior
Humans are social, emotional creatures. We take cues from the people around us. We align ourselves with groups that make us feel safe, smart, and seen.
This is why people don’t just drink coffee—they’re Starbucks people or local coffee shop people.
They don’t just watch movies—they’re Marvel fans or arthouse film lovers.
They don’t just buy sneakers—they’re Nike loyalists or Adidas diehards.
Behavior follows identity.
If someone already sees themselves as a person who does something—who buys a certain way, consumes a certain way, acts a certain way—your job isn’t to change their mind.
Your job is to show them that your thing is already a part of who they are.
How This Plays Out in the Wild
- CrossFit – Nobody does CrossFit casually. It’s a culture, a tribe, a way of life. The workouts are grueling, but people keep coming back because they see themselves as the kind of person who does CrossFit. The marketing? It’s not “Get fit.” It’s “Join the community.”
- Harley-Davidson – Harley doesn’t sell motorcycles. It sells rebellion, freedom, and brotherhood. Their best customers don’t just ride Harleys—they wear the logo, get the tattoo, and evangelize the brand. The message is clear: “People like us ride Harleys.”
- Apple’s “Think Different” Campaign – Apple doesn’t market the technical specs of their devices. It markets a mindset. If you see yourself as a creative, a misfit, an innovator—you buy a Mac. Not because the technical capabilities are “better” (PC users could argue that), but because it aligns with who you see yourself to be.
The most successful brands and creators don’t try to convince people. They make people see themselves in the work.
How to Apply This to Your Work
Define Who You’re For
Who is your work really for? Not in a broad “anyone who wants this” way. Get specific.
- Not “People who like photography.”
- Instead “People who want to capture everyday moments with film cameras, because they believe analog photography is more soulful.”
- Not “People who listen to music.”
- Instead “People who are at indie shows every week, and crave vinyl records because streaming feels disposable.”
The clearer your audience, the easier it is for them to recognize themselves in your work.
Speak Their Language
Want to know if someone belongs to a group? Listen to how they talk.
Every culture, every niche, every community has its own language. The phrases they use. The inside jokes. The shorthand that signals, We’re the same.
- If your audience says “influencers” and you say “content producers,” you’re already misaligned.
- If your audience says “lift heavy” and you say “resistance training,” you sound like an outsider.
Speak in a way that makes them nod their head and think, This is for me.
Show, Don’t Tell
Saying, “This is for people like you” isn’t enough. You need to prove it.
- Feature testimonials and case studies from people they relate to.
- Highlight user-generated content that reflects their lifestyle.
- Make your branding, visuals, and tone feel like home to them.
If you do this right, they won’t hesitate. They’ll say:
“Of course I bought this. Of course I listen to this. Of course I support this. Because this is what people like me do.”
Stop Convincing, Start Aligning
Most creators think marketing is about persuasion. It’s not. It’s about recognition.
So here’s your challenge:
- Look at your current messaging. Are you trying to convince, or are you making people feel seen?
- Define your “people.” What do they believe? How do they talk? What matters to them?
- Align your work so that when they see it, they say, “That’s for me.”
Your audience isn’t waiting to be talked into something.
They’re waiting to recognize themselves in what you’ve built.
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